The Courtship of Wednesday Addams
by See You Next Thursday
Summary: Eddie Munster falls in love with Wednesday Addams while in college and he tries his hardest to make Wednesday love him back. Will it work?  Lydia Deetz from the Beetlejuice movies makes appearances
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Love at First Sight

On the first day of school, I fell in love with a girl. And she doesn't even know I exist. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. Her hair as dark as raven feathers and her skin as white as snow. I love how she stares at everything and everyone with that questionable, stoic expression on her face, how she absent-mindedly fiddles with one of the dark, braided pigtails on her head, how she raises an arched eyebrow when she gets annoyed...I am simply head over heels in love with her and I don't know how I can tell her. She doesn't know me at all.

"Eddie...Earth to Eddie..." Lydia Deetz replied, waving her open palm in front of my face. I quickly snapped out of the daydream I was in. Lydia giggled.

"You've been staring at that Addams girl again, haven't you?" she asked, giving me a half-smile.

I blushed. "Uh..."

"It's OK, Eddie. I'm your best friend - you can tell me. You really like her, huh?"

I didn't answer. I didn't have to. Lydia already knew the answer.

Lydia is the only friend I've made since I came to Darkmoon College, a small but prestigious college in Transylvania. I met her when I accidentally spilled my lunch of bat stew all over her in the lunch line. Surprisingly, she didn't get upset about it. Instead, she only laughed and helped me clean up the mess I had made. Since then, the two of us have been friends ever since. The two of talk about everything; our families back home in America (we both have eccentric families), our semesters at Darkmoon, our professors, girls and boys, you name it. I've only known Lydia for three months but I feel as if we've known each other forever.

"Eddie, you're eighteen years old - you've n_ever_ talked to a girl before?" Lydia questioned.

"Well..."I began.

"Your cousin Marilyn doesn't count," Lydia added.

"I _know_ that, Lids," I replied, rolling my eyes. Then I sighed. "No. Not really," I admitted.

Lydia stared at the Addams girl briefly, who was sitting alone at a desk, jotting things down as Professor Eulisses, an old, wrinkled man with a dark toupee and always wore a tattered dark cape, droned on and on about hexes for various vampire curses.

"I don't know too much about the Addams girl but from what I _do _know, she seems to be quite lonely, do you think so?" she asked.

"Well, I think she likes being alone. She never looks at anyone or smiles or talks to anyone," I pointed out.

Lydia propped her chin with one of her fists, smiling mischievously at me. "You want _me_ to go talk to her?" she asked.

"No way!" I exclaimed, nearly shouting. "Don't do that, Lids! That would be just...mortifying!"

"Well, you're gonna have to talk to her _sometime_, Eddie Munster! Life's too short to pretend you don't exist when the love of your life might be right in front of you." She sighed in exasperation.

I snorted contemptingly. "Look who's talking, 'I don't have any real friends besides dead people'" I teased.

Back home in Connecticut, Lydia made friends with a dead couple. They were originally trying to find ways to get rid of Lydia and her family but after Lydia proved she was the only one who could see them, she tried to get her family to leave. Long story short, the Deetzes and the dead couple now live together.

Lydia only laughed at my teasing. "You're a dork, Munster. But seriously, you need a girlfriend. I don't understand how you can talk to _me_ but you can't talk to that Addams girl."

"Well...because...you're like the younger sister I never had. We can joke and tease each other about stuff and this girl is...I can't really explain it."

"Well, thanks a _lot_, Munster," Lydia replied, slapping my arm playfully. "But I think I know," She said knowingly.

"You do?" I asked.

"Sure. She's more...intriguing. You've fallen for the mystery that surrounds her, right? And I'm just chopped liver, right?"

"Yeah! That's it, I guess," I replied. I shook my head, marveling at Lydia's knowledge about the opposite sex. "But you're _not _chopped liver. You're cool."

Lydia sighed. "OK, Eddie, look," she replied. "You need to walk up and talk to her. After all, what's the worst that can happen, right? She doesn't have a boyfriend and it doesn't seem she has any suitors, so what have you got to lose?"

"I don't know what to say!" I hissed, now nervous.

"It doesn't need to be some kind of speech or something. Start with some small talk or something. I walked past her desk on the way over to mine and I noticed her doodling pictures of spiders on her notebook, so she might like spiders. Talk to her about that."

"But what if she doesn't like spiders? What if she just drew because she's dying of boredom?" I asked, almost whining.

"Well, then you just say 'Hey, great weather, huh?'. Almost all of the greatest meetings and conversations started with the weather. I dunno! Say whatever you want but don't say anything stupid or you'll risk getting kicked in the groin _and_ she'll never talk to you again. EVER. After this class is over, go and talk to her."

The bell suddenly rang, as if on cue, ending the lecture. I noticed the Addams girl gathering up all of her heavy books together. After she had stuffed her textbooks into her satchel, she walked into the crowd of the other students.

"Go! Move your ass, Munster!" I heard Lydia hiss. She gave a push into the crowd and I almost tumbled into the crowd.

"Hey, watch where you're going, idiot!" A vampire girl snapped.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

The girl only rolled her eyes and walked away, leaving me staring wide-eyed in disbelieve.

"That girl's a bitch," a girl remarked. "I can't stand her."

I turned to face her. The girl of my dreams.

I stared at her, feeling tongue-tied.

"On the first day here at Darkmoon, she threatened to get me expelled because she believed I put maggots in her coffin in her dorm. I didn't do it but I wouldn't have minded doing it."

She gave me a half-smile, the thought of putting maggots in that girl's coffin delighting her.

"Got a name, wolf-boy?" she asked. "Or did your parents not give you a name?"

"Uh...my name's Eddie. Eddie Munster," I replied.

The Addams girl only nodded. "Well, my name's Wednesday. Wednesday Addams," she said, obviously trying to humor me. "I _thought_ I kept seeing you and your girlfriend looking at me."

I blushed. "That's _not_ my girlfriend. That's only Lydia."

Wednesday gave me a wry chuckle. "_Only_ Lydia?" she asked.

"Well, she's my best friend. I don't really look at her like _that._"

"Like what?"

"Like...like...like...a girlfriend."

Wednesday chuckled again. "You're an interesting fellow, Eddie. For reasons I can't explain, I find you quite...I dunno..._fascinating_. Why don't we talk some more at our lunch time? Meet me over at Darkmoon Common over by the knotted, old willow."

And with that, she whirled around and left the classroom.

My heart thumped wildly in my chest. I couldn't believe it! She had talked to me! She actually _talked_ to me!

I pumped my fist with excitement and whooped loudly.

Professor Eulisses gave me a questioning glance. I had forgotten he was there.

I blushed and quietly left the room, celebrating in my head. And then, it suddenly dawned on me; I had never asked Wednesday _once _about the weather.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Please forgive the extremely late update on this story. I guess I have no excuse other than having very severe writer's block. I'm sorry for briefly abandoning this story. If people are still reading this, here is Chapter Two. Enjoy. **

Chapter Two

Lydia was standing right outside the door of the classroom, waiting impatiently for me. She was tapping her foot and playing with the dark beret on her head.

When she saw me stepping out of Professor Eulisses' classroom, she tugged me towards her.

"Hey, Lids!" I exclaimed in annoyance. "Don't do that!"

"So...how'd it go?" Lydia asked, ignoring me. "I saw the Addams girl leave just a few minutes ago. What happened?"

I could only just grin stupidly at the mention of Wednesday.

Lydia raised an eyebrow at me. "I take it from that ridiculously goofy look on your face that it went well?" she asked.

I only nodded dumbly.

"Well? What happened? Or are you going to continue looking like someone put a hex on you?" Lydia asked, rolling her eyes impatiently.

"Patience, Deetz, patience," I teased. "In answer to your question, everything went well, without a hitch."

Lydia then squealed in my ear so loudly, I thought my eardrums were going to burst.

"Easy, easy. What are you trying to do, deafen me?" I snapped, rubbing my ears.

"Sorry. I'm just so happy for you right now! So...give me details. What happened? Did the Addams girl ask you out or something or what?"

"First of all, her name is Wednesday. And second, she did. We have a lunch date at the old willow tree."

It was Lydia's turn to grin goofily. "This is _so_ awesome, Munster. Good for you! See, I told you you would get the girl if you just got a conversation going."

"Well, actually, I didn't even do much of the talking," I admitted to her. "She did. And guess what?"

Before I could give Lydia a chance to ask, I continued on. "She actually thinks I'm _fascinating_. _Me_. Can you believe it?"

Lydia giggled. "Fascinating isn't really an adjective I'd describe you, Munster. I have tons but _fascinating_? Nah."

I playfully punched her shoulder. "You're such a hater, Deetz," I teased jokingly.

"Me, a hater? No. I just call 'em like I see 'em," she said, punching me lightly on my shoulder.

We laughed.

"Believe it or not, she actually thought _you_ were _my _girlfriend," I informed her.

"_Me_ and _you_? Ew. Gross," Lydia remarked, shuddering. "That's never gonna happen. You're just like my brother. Besides, you're way too hairy for my liking." She then feigned throwing up by sticking a finger down her throat.

I put my hand over my chest, feigning heartache. "I'm crushed," I said sarcastically.

"Speaking of hairy, you really need to comb your hair...it's _way _too out-of-control. You need to clean up for your date if you really want to impress the Addams girl."

"Her name is Wednesday, Lids," I told her. "You can stop calling her 'the Addams girl'."

"Whatever. Look, I have to go to my next class but you have a free period before lunch. Go freshen up. This is you having a potential girlfriend here!"

The second bell rang suddenly, signaling for Lydia and I to go our separate ways.

"Shoot! I'm gonna be late!" Lydia exclaimed suddenly, glancing at her watch. "OK, Munster, I gotta run or else Professor Goolsby is gonna have my head on a platter." She then started frantically shoving her textbooks in her bag. "But you better give me details about your date, Mister, or else!" she warned, wagging a finger playfully at me. "See you soon."

She then dashed away, leaving me alone.

I laughed and took off for my dorm to prepare myself for my date with Wednesday Addams.

After combing out all my hair, ironing my best Faunteroy suit, showering and shaving, I was all ready for my date.

_This is going to be fantastic!_ I thought jubilantly as I slapped on some aftershave to my face. I then took a quick glance in my mirror, practicing my best smile for my date with Wednesday.

_Wait a second. Wednesday barely ever smiles. Tone down on the smiling, Munster_, I thought, scolding myself.

I then felt a little nervous_. I hope I can meet Wednesday's standards_, I thought, fidgeting with one of the buttons on my suit. Whatever those standards were, I wasn't so sure. Wednesday seemed to be a bit complex but I was willing to try and learn what those standards were.

I took a quick glance at my watch. I had exactly fifteen minutes to meet Wednesday at the tree. I quickly gave myself another once-over and gave myself a spritz of the best cologne I owned (Sang de L'homme to be exact) and put on my jacket and left the dorm.

I bought my lunch from the cafeteria and walked outside to the school's courtyard. It was a rather foggy outside and it was a bit damp. Darkmoon students were everywhere; chatting, eating and just hanging out, enjoying the weather and their friends' company. Nearby the courtyard, was the murky lake, full of frogs, toads and other creatures. And, of course, stood the old willow tree.

Wednesday Addams sat with her back to me, deeply engrossed in a book. I wasn't quite sure what to say to her so I simply coughed.

She turned around at the sound of my cough. "Oh, you're here," she said to me, putting down her book. "I thought you'd stand me up or something. One guy did that me once. He pretended he liked me as part of a prank. So I hung him on a tree branch by his underwear. Never saw him again after that."

She smiled wryly again at the thought. I was beginning to wonder if she actually liked causing pain to others. I gulped nervously.

"You seem nervous. Why is that?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"You're not gonna do that to me...are you?"

"You? No. You seem rather...harmless. So far, it seems you don't have any intent in playing pranks or hazing."

"Ah...OK," I said, relieved.

"So, tell me. I'm curious, Eddie Munster. Why do you have a sudden interest in me? Why not any of the other girls here at Darkmoon? Why me?"

"Well...uh...I dunno. I guess, like you said to me earlier, you fascinate me. None of the other girls interest me as much."

"Even your best friend?"

"Well... Lydia's cool. She's my best friend. I like her and all but I don't really see her as anything other than just my friend. I mean, I guess she's a _little_ interesting and all because she can see ghosts and she lives with a couple who are dead and she likes creepy stuff but..."

I suddenly stopped myself when I noticed Wednesday just staring at me like I had two heads or something.

"Do you always ramble like that?" she asked. "This is interesting. This is a first date for the both of us but already, I know more about your friend than I know about _you_. Sit."

She patted the ground next to her and I quickly obeyed.

"As interesting as your friend Lydia is, I think I'd like to know more about _you_, Eddie Munster. Tell me a little about yourself."

"You know, you don't have to keep calling me 'Eddie Munster', I said, a little annoyed at the fact she was still trying to humor me.

"OK, _Eddie_," she replied, a little taken aback. "Tell me a little about yourself and I'll tell you about myself. After all, technically, we're still complete strangers because we don't know that much about each other."

So, that's exactly what we did. We swapped stories about our families back home and our time studying at Darkmoon as we ate our lunches. Turns out Wednesday's family are similar to mine. She loves all things macabre and strange and she is a trained ballerina. Wednesday is a bit like Lydia minus the bubbliness.

"I have a dance recital here at Darkmoon in a few days. I'd like to invite you to come and watch if you'd like," she offered.

"That would be amazing," I said. "I'd love to be there. Can I invite Lydia, too?"

Wednesday furrowed her brows a little at the mention of Lydia's name but it quickly went away. "Yeah," she replied. "I'm sure the third wheel would just be _delighted_ you invited her to my recital."

I wasn't sure if Wednesday was being sarcastic or not so I just nodded.

Wednesday only rolled her eyes. "Well, it's time for my Medical Operation studies class. Today, I think we might just operate on a body some poor old sap donated to science. That should be fun. I'll get you and your friend _Lydia_ a ticket to the recital soon. See you around, Eddie."

And with that, she got up, picked up her bag and disappeared, on her way towards the school building.

I continued to sit, propping my chin up on my knees. As calm, cool and collected as Wednesday had been, I could tell she was jealous already of my close friendship with Lydia. I wasn't sure if she believed me when I told her I only saw Lydia as a friend and nothing more. Just the tone in her voice told me she wasn't very fond of her.

I groaned and sighed. If I wanted to get Wednesday interested in me, I had to let her know I only saw Lydia as a friend.

_Me and my big mouth_, I thought miserably.

**Note: The cologne Eddie wore is Sang de L'homme, French for 'Blood of Man'. **


End file.
